the god who makes dreams come true

I believe God can make all our dreams come true. Today I met people who seem to have got every piece of the same puzzle dream wise as I have recieved in my heart. The forest-horses-drama teacher-community-mountains-farming-ecological living-ancient hebrew-treatment centre-puzzle. I have the most impossible dreams ever to put together in a puzzle, but I have now met people with every single impossible piece in their puzzle, also struggling with putting them together.

I ask you to pray. I ask, time after time, where are you taking this trip, God? Am I really this bad at map reading, or why am I going further and further from Spain?

If I end up somwhere far from Spain, don't be surprised. Maybe these dreams we all share, are far off in the future, but there seems to be a lot of dreams to fulfill until then... I might be in a plan bigger then my own plans. Just pray, will ya?

french canadians are better than their reputation

Some days are tough, I found today. My body weary, my mind a little worried, I wondered around Prague for a whole day asking myself what to do about the fact that the American guys had left town, and I was out of a place to stay, still without Christian contacts.

When the day was coming to an end I finally decided to stay in a hostel, which made my day so much better. I found this French Canadian guy, Francois and spent my evening walking around Prague with him, being a real tourist. We had loads of fun. I am so sorry, my dear Canadian friends. I must make you disappointed. There is at least one Franch Canadian who is completely OK.

I am meeting up with a group of Jesus friends tomorrow at ten. I got in touch with them through Tom, who called the Jones family, who used to live in Prague and know people here.

So that is all for now. I had a day that sucked and it turned into an absolutely fab evening. Go figure.

prag and prayers

I got called by God to pee in a bush yesterday.

I have realized that I only can blog about a few of the everyday miracles and amazing events happening on my journey.

I really didn't plan to go to Prag and stay with two American guys from Mississippi, but God obviously had. And he has been planning it for a long time, but I have been ignoring his excited: Prag! (It was hard ignoring him when he sat me next to the only guy from Prag at the conference and the first thing this guy said was: Prag. And the one guy I felt I should go up to and ask whether Prag was on the way to Wienna was the one guy that was on his way to Wienna...)

I ended up laying on a blue and white blanket in the forest close to the Czech boarder, eating Dresden country side apples and praying with this Italian nomad who's favourite spice is saffran. I never knew that saffran is a small yellow flower and that you only use "the small lips for the bees" to make the spice.

"The papers for the dog please", the man at the boarder said in German, I think, as Amelia barked at him. "I don't have any" Juran replied as God had told him not to lie. "Park over there" said the man with our passports in his hand. "You might have to hitch hike Juran said to me, looking a little nervous. His passport is actually invalid because he lost it, reported it missing, and the found it again. And because he doesn't want to fill his dog up with medicines once a year she is a bit illegal because she lacks papers... A few intense prayer minutes later we got our passports handed back. "Can we go?" Jurgen said with this definite hint of suprise in his voice. The man waved us of, with his well practiced I'm a grumpy guard-look. I love God. May he always be praised.

It hurt my heart driving through this beautiful forest landscape with fields and mist and apple trees, with women standing in their underwear by rundown road side shacks, waving to the passing cars. How can one possibly want to pay for sex in a falling to pieces prostitution shack at lunch time on a beautiful sunny Monday? I'm sorry I sound more naive than I should be by now, but it still shocks me, and I believe it always should.

I got called by God to pee in a bush in a park in the Zizkow area of Prag. I was climbing a hill looking for a washroom, and God went: "There. Definitly pee there" in that wordless communication of his. How weird is that calling? I peed. I also found a handful of pictures of girls ages 17-18 and up, spread out among the leaves. The girls looked a bit like workign girls some of them, some of them just teens looking a bit hurt, with porny kind of posters on the walsl behind them. Most of them fully dressed, some of them half naked. They were all from different times, the oldest from -88. I picked them up and prayed for them, placing the pictures and my Bible before me, infront of this big building with a massive statue of a horse and a rider. The wind was blowing the pages of my Bible back and forth, back and forth, through the psalms and proverbs. I prayed whatever opened up, and sung the words. A few lines from Song of Songs really stuck out to me when the pages opened up there. I held the picture of a tired looking, blonde girl, wearing two necklaces with crosses, standing in her room full of teddy bears and posters. Who is she? kept haunting me. God, please help her!

I might be here for one single person, someone like these girls, who just really needs a hug and some love from God. Low in faith, I find myself thinking, what if she doesn't speak English?

I have got money on my account. I got more money than I was expecting from work. I'm no longer broke... yeey!

I am a little scared of being so small in this city. It really is humbling to have no idea why I am here, not know the language, not know the place. I am going to try to buy some food now. God really wants to feed these American guys. God knows they need a woman in their lives, Matthew has had vegetables twice in two months.

I can't help falling in love with u

dresden rocks. going to prag. crying my heart out and piling snot on the floor with tears for the broken and wounded.

have spent weekend at 24/7 conference that rocks beyond everything. if I could tell you what God has done in two days. the favor poured out on me. prayed. cried. laughed. worshipped. danced. been fed by people even though my money was finished after the trip here. got to sleep in the conference building. awesome.

god told me today to go to prag don't know why. I am going to live with someone I met at the conference, going there with an Italian guy who's driving me. I am a bit shaken. crap, I'm turned over by God's adventure so many times a milkshake couldn' compare with me for a nickle. I am so absolutely in lack of words. I wish you'd been here. So you knew why we cried adn laughed and worshipped. God rocks beyond everything. He IS the rock.

hamburg

Arrived at Rostock. Walked toward the central train station. This one German man who didn't speak any English saw me and ended up buying me a ticket in on the S-bahn. He handed me 10 euro and showed me how to get tot the station.

I eventually found an internet café and the email from my friend Esther. I followed her advice and checked the German lift platform online and got a lift from Rostock to Hamburg. I got dropped off by the S-bahn at Highway 1 and took the S-bahn to Reeperbahn in the redlight district of Hambrug where Esther and the rest of teh Salvation Army's mission team met me.

Praise God for helpful people. I had no idea how to pay for the S-bahn and have got many lessons in communicating with people with few words. Trying to reaken my German skills.

Was very tired after a long day yesterday. I now know why Jesus told his disciples not to bring extra clothes or any stuff when walking from town to town. Too much baggage to carry around on my back for 10 km.

Heading for Dresden with Esther today. Will meet up with other cool people once there!

God bless, gotta go!

the thought that comforts

(the thought that comforts me at night when I freak out and get stressed)

why am I going?

because I love God and I love meeting people and I want to pray for them and spread God's love to them and share his heart with them

so where ever I am I can do what I left for. I need no stress, no worries about reaching destinations, about getting places. where ever I am I am in a place to worship God and help and love others. No matter what city, no matter what place.

It can't go wrong.

here we go

OK. Ulricehamn-Malmö by bus. Malmö-Trelleborg by transportation of choice at arrival. Trellborg-Rostock, the night ferry. Arrive Thursday in Rostock in the morning at 6:15.

From Rostock I need to get to Dresden for a 24/7 prayer conference with friends from Vancouver and Germany.

Anyone know anyone going from Rostock to Dresden? Text me: +46702474074. Thanks... Pray! I'm really off now...

hökerums missionsförsamling

wow. god is moving. I am at awe before his presence. I have seen him move people to tears today. he has moved my heart deeply. I am still out in the country outside of ulricehamn and will stay for awhile. I am so touched by god's love. and I have every kind of cake ever baked filling my body up to it's inner brim.

following blindly

I have tried out every single explanation for going, but in the end I have realised I just have to accept I don't really know. As I didn't really know why I went to Canada. As I didn't really know why I went to Vancouver. As I didn't really know why I packed my stuff and moved out of the Empress Hotel before knowing where I was moving to. I don't really know why I gave my money away and am going on this trip. I just know I'm going and that the thought brings me great joy!

departure date fixed

I am leaving Friday. I think I will take a bus to Ulricehamn, which lays a few hours from here, if God doesn't find another way for me to get there. I will be meeting a very good friend of mine, David Norén, and the new congregation he is pastoring. I am very much at peace in my heart with the way this is going. I have no idea how long I will stay in Ulricehamn, probably a few days, and then that will be my starting point.

I have started packing. Washing clothes and packing them. As few as possible suitable for the Swedish cold weather and the southern warmth later on. I hate being cold. I easily get hypothermia. I have long johns and layer upon layer clothes to keep me warm. I am bringing a sleeping mat in case I have to sleep in cold places. I wish I didn't have to carry it around but if I'm left to sleep outside it might save my life or at least my health...

I am really happy. I am on my way very soon! And I am glad my parents have stopped crying and yelling and telling me I will get raped and killed and in various ways scattered across the German Autobahn. I am glad my Dad has settled for telling me not be to proud to call home and my Mum has given me her fleece jacket and asked if I packed wool socks and thermo underwear.

I am finally going. I have a date booked, I am going on Friday. I am so happy... God you are awesome!!!!!

close to going now?

It's not Monday yet but I seem to draw nearer to a final decision. The Wait seems to evaporate into some kind of a Go. It seems to be the full on dream. The everything I wanted-version of this trip. The head on, no restraint, no doubt, insanely deep trusting go for it all-version of this trip.

With no money and no time limit. Well, at the most ten dollars to start with. And I will start here. And I will head for France and Spain. By foot and by whoever will help me get there who I might meet on the way.

I'll also go past some friends on the way. I have someone I need to email, who I must meet before going from Sweden. That seems to be really crucial and something that will lead this forward. I will email tomorrow. And then we'll see.

This is where I'm at right now. I will start next week if this is my final decision.

I need to go without money, I need to go from here, and I need to put my life in God's hands. I have peace in my heart and the gut feeling it'll work out fine.

I'm broke but I'm happy

I'm poor but I'm kind

I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded

I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine

I've got one hand in my pocket

And the other one is giving a high five

alanis morisette

After all, there are somethings worth dying for. And if you don't do them, you die a little every day.

patience is a what?

I am so glad you are talking to me in that calm and understanding voice that tells me you know how much I have to fight with myself to listen to you and you know how hard it is for me to trust you. If you didn't have that tone of voice, God, I'd be snapping at you and running off. I want to get started on my pilgrimage and all you say is Wait one more week. I have to trust you. I know I better trust you or I'll be in trouble. One more week. Just one more week? Can I go then? Will you be back with new info then?

pepper

Eating fresh chili peppers and writing worship songs. Heck, they burn.

life abundantly

Milky white mist, the sun breaking through magnificent clouds, illuminating fields and meadows with sheep grazing.

Curry, made with the zucchinis, peppers, chili peppers, onions and tomatoes of our own garden.

Bread. Dough sticking to my fingers; the white flour leaving traces across the kitchen.

The green house. A jungle of chili peppers and tomoatoes, an explosion of colours and two hours of creating a spider web of strings to keep them from laying down in the earth.

Whatever you prayed, you who prayed, it was a prayer of life. Abundant life. I am so alive my eyes get filled with tears. Life is a miracle.

life