I hope there is a piece of God within every human. I hope that deep within every person there is a glimpse of God; pure love; the ability of growth and caring. I must live in faith of that love; I must seek within the eyes of every human the eyes of God. Within every heart the heart of God. Within every hand the hand of God reached out.
We can choose not to act on the love within us. We can choose not to be the love we bear. But I must believe that we carry within us God even when we do not act as if we did.
I will listen. I will speak out when I disagree. I will hold you in my arms. I will protest when I am not treated with respect. I will hear your story. I will try and understand. I will try in every moment to love you. It might not get me to heaven.
I believe in having my eyes fixed on God. I believe that my eyes can not be parted from humanity if I want to see God. If I claim to see God but do not listen; if I claim to see God, but do not speak in honesty; if I claim to see God, but refuse to see you, I wonder what God I am looking at.
It makes me sad that we Christians so often fight over theologies. I wish to make clear I don’t believe I am right. I believe I have met God, or rather; seen a tiny glimpse of what can not be defined by human words. I spend my life trying to grasp with my heart what cannot be understood by my brain. But I still think we need to think and speak.
All we have is our pictures; constantly changing; of a living God larger than our pictures. I need to quote a very close and loved friend, I hope you don’t mind, dearest.
“ God is none of our pictures of God. God is someone far beyond all of these. But pictures may be icons that help to draw us in, though if we ever get stuck at one picture, we'll be missing some other important aspect. “
I see God in people, flowers, sunlight. I have many pictures of God. I see God in Church, in The Word, in communion. But I also see that people have been oppressed by words used by Christians, wounded for life by our interpretations and rigid opinions. I believe we need new definitions. We need to hear new voices speaking out on the love of God. A young girl, still a child, once stood up and praised the Lord for showing her what powerful men around the world had not seen. She was to bear a child, bear within her God. I believe the unexpected still carry God within them. Bear new images, not complete, but alive.
White male theologians have determined what Christian faith is, for a very long time now. Much wisdom has been found. But there are many voices left unheard. I have not the complete Truth. I have a small vision of it. Others may have more. Already white male theologians through history have had many different ways of interpreting the Bible. There are many more. We need them. It lets us see many views of God. It teaches us not to be stubborn. If I only met people who agreed with me, I would never grow. I am learning this from others also learning it, while growing by my side. I tend to be stubborn but am humbled when met by people who disagree with me in loving ways. If I never listen to others I may be entitled to seeing others as less intelligent, less lovable, less Christian or even less human than me.
In Sweden, being born white, middle class and having chosen a heterosexual marriage I am in a position of power. I need to ask myself as a Christian and as a human, how do I use that power? Do I use a language that hurts people? Do I use my faith as a weapon against people?
For centuries a picture has been created of God as a man who can wipe out entire cities, kill children, and punish people with suffering and torture. I drew a picture of the Truth as a lesbian woman, in the eyes of this world the least of the least, with no power, completely naked, loving, breathing life into creation, having a loving relationship with what she has created. Why is that image of God more provocative?
I believe God is a naked lesbian woman who makes out with the flowers in the morning. You may say that is a metaphor. I say it is The Truth.
"Truth is not fact but relationship" say the wise. I treasure my relationship with God. She smiles.
We all view God from our own standpoint. Does that make our view of God any less true? We can only view God from our own standpoint. And so we judge eachothers views from our own perspective - thus turning them askew.
God gave us The Word after she gave us The Brain. Maybe her features blur when we try to take her picture.
We have a garden. A fireplace. And we are soon about to plant roses.
Roots growing deep. Love is all around. I can feel its pulse in everything around me.
Love yourself. Love every freakin' inch of yourself. Love your body. Love your mind. Love your mistakes, your weaknesses, your tears. Love is so important that it can't be waited with. We can't wait another second with beginning to love ourselves. Loving ourselves to the extent that we forget ourselves because we are so ful of joy and love and contentment. When we love ourselves to the extent of wanting to dance naked in the garden we find the love that frees us. And others. And ultimatly the world.
Love is more than acceptance, but it starts with the full acceptance of this being me. This body; these hands, these feet, this belly, these breasts, this cunt, these eyes, this hair is a celebration of life! This is me. And this me is made from pure love. This is the mystery of life. It is the foundation I am created on. It is the gift and terrifying truth of my mere existence.
I believe in a world where people speak with eachother, and understand one another. Where people share possessions and thoughts, homes and lives. I believe in a world where people are free, in body mind and spirit. It isn't here yet. But it is a little bit closer for every person who believes in the right to love oneself as we love others.
Me and my bridesmaids... Mirja, Sofie, me and Lina
Sorry for not writing for ages! The last months before the wedding were quite crazy... But now we are happily married! And back from our wedding trip in the Swedish mountains!
The dress was finished the day before the wedding... thanks to Mirja and her Mum, and a seamstress who helped us the last three weeks. Mirjas Mum did all the embroideries (and worked day and night for weeks). Warning: If you ever find a picture of a beautiful dress on the internet, but don't have a pattern for making it, think twice about asking your best friends to make it... it might be the hardest work they ever do!
Many friends helped us with preparations (more than helped! Made the whole day work!) Here my bridesmaid Lina, and my friend Nathan from Canada. Even the forest helped...
... when going to look for trees to decorate the barn with, we literally ran into a tree in the middle fo the road! It hadn't been there the day before, but it might have heard us talking about the wedding... Yvonne, from Canada, turned out being great at cutting tree branches.
Lina, Mirja, my Dad, my Mum, me, my husband Joakim, his mother and his father, and Sofie.
Me.
Me with family and bridesmaids.
Our frist dance... We got ready to waltz... and then came "Is it medicine" by The knife.
Me, Sofie and Lina.
Best part of the wedding ceremony...
Waiting for non-alcoholic champagne...
Joakim Pettersson and Erikka Chapman, happily married...
Welcome to Lund to visit us! We share a house with friends, and have a garden, a fire place and a guest room!
I can now be found on Facebook (but I'm not online all that often...)
Back in the North. Snow and ice and freezing cold. Why the heck do I love Kiruna?
Yesterday I saw the Ice Hotel, which is exactly what it is called. Made entirely out of ice. Very beautiful. Today we saw reindeers and went for a scooter ride in the snow. Tomorrow we are going playing in the ski hill, in garbage bags...
I have finally met the sami people. I admire survivors. To me it seems, that if you know the mountains and the reindeers you have all you need in life.
I am longing for the summer and hiking across the mountains. We will jointhe sami as they gather up all the reindeers for the summer branding and counting. They won't brand them as with cattle, but cut their ears instead. Each person in the family has their own mark so the reindeers can be recognized as they run free in the mountains. It seems our honey moon will be fantastic! Oh, yes... I am getting married.
