love me love me not
I don't function according to the social rules of society.
It doesn't usually worry me all that much. I know I am brutally honest and say things others usually don't. I know I fall head over heels in love with strangers and confront them with it. I know I expect deeper communication than just words, deeper contact than just two people moving around in the same space.
I could be perfectly happy with my obviously terrifying way of living, if it wasn't for the fact that it seems hideously hard to love me. Somehow it works out fine for anyone, male or female, to be my friend. But something in me seems to scare the crap out of any man who comes close enough to actually start falling in love with me.
I know I'm 21 and don't need to worry yet, really, but seriously. I do worry. What if I am just so extremely strange that loving me would be impossible? What if I am just so odd, so outside the socially accepted, that loving me would just be too hard? What if I am charming, lovely, kind and exciting until you come up really close and see me for who I really am? I am tired of being cool at a distance and scary when approached.
Sorry for asking such self-pitying questions today, but please tell me I am not the only human on earth who goes through these feelings? Is it normal to worry this much about your mental state of health? (Did this blog not start with that very question?)
It doesn't usually worry me all that much. I know I am brutally honest and say things others usually don't. I know I fall head over heels in love with strangers and confront them with it. I know I expect deeper communication than just words, deeper contact than just two people moving around in the same space.
I could be perfectly happy with my obviously terrifying way of living, if it wasn't for the fact that it seems hideously hard to love me. Somehow it works out fine for anyone, male or female, to be my friend. But something in me seems to scare the crap out of any man who comes close enough to actually start falling in love with me.
I know I'm 21 and don't need to worry yet, really, but seriously. I do worry. What if I am just so extremely strange that loving me would be impossible? What if I am just so odd, so outside the socially accepted, that loving me would just be too hard? What if I am charming, lovely, kind and exciting until you come up really close and see me for who I really am? I am tired of being cool at a distance and scary when approached.
Sorry for asking such self-pitying questions today, but please tell me I am not the only human on earth who goes through these feelings? Is it normal to worry this much about your mental state of health? (Did this blog not start with that very question?)
posted by wild rose pilgrim at 7:26 AM
5 Comments:
i love you. no question about it.
however i do have a question... would you like your blog to be linked on the nordic 24-7 blog?
Jag är så glad att jag fick träffa dig! :) Jag har en vän som jag var rädd för i ett halvår innan jag slappnade av... men hon är så förskräckligt fin. Och ni kanske är lite lika. Och jag skulle vilja säga förlåt.. att jag och så många andra inte alltid låter er vara de ni är och ska vara, när vi inte inser att det ni är är något ljuvligt och ovärderligt. Förlåt! Men du ska vara du. Du ska vara stolt, överallt.
Kärlek från en syster...
I love you too much....
Rich
you're so ....so... FINNISH! :)
just great.
was great to meet you and all other crazy creatures of God. :)
stay in touch, Erikka.
hope to hear from you someday soon.
love, Erwin[aka Arve]
www.tammsaare.com
www.myspace.com//tammsaare
tycker absolut inte du ska oroa dig för att du är för ovanlig eller konstig för att älskas. Du är ju du och vrd att älskas. coh den som inte fattar det är ju inte värd att ödsla sin tid på ju!å om det är så att du är någon annan person när du kommer nära någon, så kan det ju ha attt göra med självkänslan, och det är nog någont som vi alla får jobba på genom livet, att våga ta risken att visa vem vi verkligen är även om man inte alltid är rolig och spännande. Det kan ju vara skrämande att bli avisad för den man verkligen är, men en risk värd att ta om man också blir älskad för den man verkligen är!love you kram emma
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